The philosophical pickle ponders
both that which is, and that which
might be “beyond the barrel,” as
speculative thought is usually described. He wonders what makes a
cucumber “pickled” and speculates
whether “life as we know it” exists
in the Beyond. After many months of
study he determines that reality is
made-up of four primary elements:
cucumbers, brine, pickling spices,
and “The Barrel.” Further he concludes that there exists a Prime
Mover who not only “sets the whole
works in motion,” but also decides
what is to be, gives orders to the
Barrel & Beyond, and generally operates outside the limits of normal
pickle thought and morality. That
night at dinnertime, the Prime Mover
eats the philosophical pickle with
a hamburger.